Hold On Tight.

Maryam :D

try to make me frown,baby, because you actually can't. half past 18. do i really have a clear view on my future?
scream out loud

gone with the wind

December 2008
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you're on your way

Tuesday, April 12, 2011 1:07 AM
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22 30 4 8
Devastated ; the pain I had when I lost someone back then.

Love asked me to describe the way I miss him today. I couldn't answer. This is hard, man. Then, I stumbled upon this on tumblr. Frankly speaking, the pain isn't the same at all. It is worst, worst than this but it is somehow close. Baby, you put me through so many emotions that nobody else could.. and you just turn this pleasure of missing you into pain, or is it just me turning heaven into hell? Anyway, thank you for making this distance bearable everytime I said "I can't stand this anymore! I feel like packing my bag and be on my way to you". I love you heaps, Helmi Farhan Halimi :) Good luck with your exams, submissions and presentations! I'm wishing you all the best, I believe you'll ace it! I hope you do have faith in yourself too!

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Thursday, April 7, 2011 12:22 AM
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Open The Gate to Your Apartment Complex,
Assalamualaikum w.b.t, whosoever reading this.

Ahem. Fifteen. Yes, fifteen, when I first discovered how to love someone who loves you back. I mean, with people from another gender who is not biologically related to you and meant to be more than friends. That was the first time I became somebody's other half after having unrequited love for three years. I learnt about different kinds of heartaches suffering from empty promises, planning future which seems so quite far away and pointless. The cycle repeats for those who falls in and out of love. I wonder how is it like for people who experiences this repeatedly over and over again. I mean, aren't they tired of the process, erasing, well not like completely letting it vanish because that seems to be impossible, moving on and packs your bag, and unpack again, adding, adapting to something new, someone new? Maybe they find these activities are thrilling or maybe they don't even have a choice but they have to? Once, I want to experience this just because I believe it would make me become more acknowledged of how this process may cause me. So yeah, after being so long with the same guy, I had the guts to say, I wanna try this, 'hunting for experience' and end up being with him. Seriously, what was I thinking at that time? Stupid, I know because true love is about you falling in and out of love with the same person, and that, my friend will bring you the real experience, thrill and excitement.

I've found myself moving on too fast after having a serious downfall recently. It was quick, it may seemed that instant, but whatever it is, a Saviour came and filled those holes I've had, kept me happy, and still keeping me happy day by day. Meeting him was an accident, but yeah, he stays on a purpose now. A soulmate? The other half? A companion? A boyfriend? A future husband? An enemy? You name it, he is the guy of many characters. I love this guy, he's so amazing, I mean, what more can you get? loyal, know how to treat his girl right in so many ways, sensitive, sensible, sensual, incredible, heals my wound, wise, the one I've been searching for all this while. He reminds me of I am when I'm in love, the way I treat the one I loved, is this a coincidence or what? Seeing people who resembles my character loving me in the present? :) Well, I guess what you give is what you get. One thing for sure is I'm going to keep him. I've always find myself being insecure, having fears after the break up. Somebody told me not to be afraid when the time comes, and here I am, keeping that word that I won't back down, look back and leaving the past behind. Sure, there will always be stains, tracks, and marks but I don't want them to haunt me. I'm still somehow still shifting from I-don't-really-know-how-to-describe-the-phase-is. And yes, it was on fifteen of last two months. Fifteen fifteen fifteen, never thought you could be that much of historical :)

Go easy on me, go easy on this girl.
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Tuesday, April 5, 2011 11:22 PM
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April Rush.

"Calar tetap calar". - a friend.

Don't even have to bother to rewind, reverse, ctrl+z. You'll get a command error, anyway. The best way is just to go through it, with faith that a change will appear at your door if only you're being true to yourself and people around you.
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