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Hold On Tight.


Maryam :D


try to make me frown,baby, because you actually can't. half past 18. do i really have a clear view on my future?
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Tuesday, December 21, 2010 10:30 PM
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Lesson Learned Part Two.


How short my mind thinks due to sleeping at forbidden hours hurts her. Should have just go out the other day. All the other matters could wait. But the excruciating pain you're having is an exception. Due to that, I'm truly sorry, my dear friend.
For some reasons I think I should learn some humanities rather than simply talk. Talk is cheap, they say. How I wish I could hug you but I'm a terrible expresser. Words are the only medium I'm comfortable with.

I know how messy I'm currently. I feel ugly and not appreciated, not having someone I could rely on and etcetera. I messed up, big time. Everything just seems to be changing drastically and I can't keep up with that. I feel so bad for hurting people that I love. And I can say that distance and term are causing me a lot of tense. The longer the distance between us, and the more we're into our relationship, I tend to give higher expectation to him and that is the reason why I screwed up just because things don't go the way I wanted to. To be honest, I want us to have some time apart to give us some time just to have things going back to normal. But I can't, I couldn't, I can't handle it. I'm just becoming more obsessed. And when I push myself in, its just like I'm letting myself dealing with this pain again and again. It just keep on and on and on. Hurting and Healing. Should I just let it fly? Should I just deal with it? Or should I just bare with distance for a while? I'm clueless.
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Sunday, December 19, 2010 3:03 AM
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Yearning.

If you love me, come and fight for me. You should know that I'm always waiting. If you love me, come and tell me how much you're worth. If you love me prove to me how valuable you are to me. Patch up all of these wound you've caused. Tell me I'm your world, prove to me that I am. Talk is cheap. All I need is more action, aggressiveness and more soul to it.
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Monday, December 13, 2010 4:41 AM
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'You're So Seventeen,' says the other half.




I found a potion to go back in time. Order, anyone? -November 26 at 8:36pm



I know, on how much I left this blog intact for a long time. I just don't know what to write. Empty. Just like her. I think I have her syndrome as well. Her? the person I love most. She's the one who help me a lot. Through everything, every storms, every rainbows. She's the one who makes me stand tall. Who I am today, the face, the smile, even the feet I have, are the mark she leaves for me, for us.

Change. Changed, involuntarily. and still changing. There you are, for so long, so so long since the last time I saw you, you're so thin. You barely walk around. Smiles were exchanged. Embraced. The couch, you've been on it for a long time, don't you think? How I wish, I could fill your heart. The hole inside your heart, seems so deep. Those pills you take, I wish I could replace them with feet massages that you mentioned it could help you sleep. Whats on your mind? Share, share like you used to. Probably there are nothing on you're mind. Literally, empty. I miss you.

The reason being I would like to go back in time is to see you smile happily. I miss your funny gestures. I need someone to listen to me, nag whenever you wanted to, cook with me and sing whenever you're happy. Go shopping with me. Someone I can chat with. Someone who can still cheer up whenever bad things happen. This sorta grief I'm feeling is like the feeling of my mirror's broken, and I've been cursed with seven years of bad luck.

I know, someone should not feel regret in making mistakes they have done and look ahead. Losing what they accomplished. Its not just it when I said I could go back in time. Its not in that context, at all. I just want, my ordinary, normal life back. My family. Happy family portrait.
House full of happiness. Whole and complete. Laughters and joys. Yes, I know how typical this is but yeah I could really use a wish right now.

I miss you, mak. Get well soon. I know somehow. someday, you'll light the fusebox inside of you with the help of our prayers and support.
There's someone here reminds me of you. He reminds me of your teaching in class, mak. He's so funny and an observer. He knows how to handle his students with his jokes in class and all. He's just like you, isn't it? To me you're a dedicated teacher, a loving mother, and always been the greatest friend of mine. You're my everything, mak. I love you, I love you, I love you.
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