A Date to Remember

Wakey wakey.

2012-01-09T17:48:00.003+08:00

I'm in a phase where I'm not highly motivated to do anything. Constantly lazy. Uninspired. It is a very long phase.................................. I just wanna end this. "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired"

Swallowed Me Whole.

2012-01-09T03:59:00.002+08:00

Sorry. Lets be friends? *shakes hands*

The cycle repeats for you, at least. But who am I to judge? Who am I to put punishments on you, on your actions that lead me to pain?

"You do know you deserve better after all, right Maryam?"

"So you're saying the girl you're choosing over me is gonna settle for less?"

"No..umm"

"No...she isn't. If she's the one, you'd give her something you wouldn't be able to give me and she would make you involuntarily give her everything. She might as well not asking you to give anything in return, though"

**on the other note**

"You do know what he's capable of since that day on. Why are you still falling apart? You do know but why did you chose to stay? You have a chance to escape back then. You don't have to go through this, girl"

"Me..falling apart? Maybe its the feeling of being replaced. You know, the feeling of 'Oh, those words are supposed to be meant for me', 'that should be me, mine, ours', knowing I'm not the one he thinks of when he wakes up and sleeps at night and having someone choosing another girl over me. Who doesn't like being someone's priority? But I have to face it somehow that I'm not anymore"

"You can lie to me but you can't lie to yourself. You knew damn well what he's capable of but you've chose to be blind. You do love him. Love is blind"

Maybe this is it. Maybe it is love. I see a happy face of a boy who's in love..and that moment, I found myself smiling back. I am happy. I am contented. "I will never do that to you, baby. I will never let you down the way he did" Thank you for keeping these words.

Friends? Yes :)

Pulling the Puzzles Apart.

2012-01-09T03:55:00.001+08:00

Mungkin.

Mungkin peluang itu sudah tiada,

Mungkin loceng berbunyi sekali, walaupun cuba diketuk berkali-kali,

Mungkin kekaburan mematahkan segala niat,

Mungkin sudah tiba masanya untuk lari,

Kuburkan segala niat. Kuburkan segala rasa,

Kau belum bersedia.

Static.

2011-06-22T19:59:00.002+08:00

"Don't you see? It's just not possible for one person to watch over another person forever and ever. I mean, suppose we got married. You'd have to work during the day. Who's going to watch over me

while you're away? Or if you go on a business trip, who's going to watch over me then? Can I be glued to you every minute of our lives? What kind of equality would there be in that? What kind of relationship would that be? Sooner or later you'd get sick of me. You'd wonder what you were doing with your life, why you were spending all your time babysitting this woman. I couldn't stand that. It wouldn't solve any of my problems." - Naoko, from Norwegian Wood written by Haruki Murakami.

Countdown to Eruption.

2011-06-22T02:14:00.002+08:00

I wonder, If I wonder about things, whether it should/still be like this or like that in a certain way...will it still be somehow worth it?

How about giving without receiving? Or how about you just effing show your gratitude towards what you have, maryam!

Ciao.

Push to Play.

2011-05-21T03:23:00.001+08:00

Bila luka lama bertandang,

bukan niatku untuk membanding,

jauh sama sekali untuk memberi persamaan,

maafkanlah aku,

kalau itu yang kau rasa.

I'm skipping December.

2011-05-20T14:42:00.000+08:00

:'(

Wonder Upon Wonder.

2011-05-01T23:46:00.005+08:00

#notetoself.

That little piece of cloth on my head, whats the purpose of wearing it, if it doesn't cover my chest?

That little piece of cloth on my head, whats the purpose of having it on top of my head if I don't speak good words and hurt others with those words?

That little piece of cloth on my head, whats the purpose of wearing it, if inside I'm a big mess, sinful and full of bad intentions?

That little piece of cloth on my head, whats the purpose of wearing it, if I let people being attracted to me by the way I dress up; body-con, revealing my skins and striking outfits?

That little piece of cloth on my head, whats the purpose of wearing it if I wear inches of make-ups and reveal it to non-mahram?

That little piece of cloth on my head, whats the purpose of wearing it if I don't respect myself and let other people taking advantage of me?

As a matter of fact, it isn't just a piece of cloth. It carries internal responsibilities and truthfully, I failed.

There's a lot of things to consider before you judge someone by its appearance, sometimes whats on the outside, doesn't reveal whats on the inside and yes, I admit, I'm full of flaws, I'm still trying to fix this. But I guess, trying itself is not enough.

22 30 4 8

2011-04-12T01:07:00.005+08:00

Devastated ; the pain I had when I lost someone back then.

Love asked me to describe the way I miss him today. I couldn't answer. This is hard, man. Then, I stumbled upon this on tumblr. Frankly speaking, the pain isn't the same at all. It is worst, worst than this but it is somehow close. Baby, you put me through so many emotions that nobody else could.. and you just turn this pleasure of missing you into pain, or is it just me turning heaven into hell? Anyway, thank you for making this distance bearable everytime I said "I can't stand this anymore! I feel like packing my bag and be on my way to you". I love you heaps, Helmi Farhan Halimi :) Good luck with your exams, submissions and presentations! I'm wishing you all the best, I believe you'll ace it! I hope you do have faith in yourself too!

Open The Gate to Your Apartment Complex,

2011-04-07T00:22:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t, whosoever reading this.

Ahem. Fifteen. Yes, fifteen, when I first discovered how to love someone who loves you back. I mean, with people from another gender who is not biologically related to you and meant to be more than friends. That was the first time I became somebody's other half after having unrequited love for three years. I learnt about different kinds of heartaches suffering from empty promises, planning future which seems so quite far away and pointless. The cycle repeats for those who falls in and out of love. I wonder how is it like for people who experiences this repeatedly over and over again. I mean, aren't they tired of the process, erasing, well not like completely letting it vanish because that seems to be impossible, moving on and packs your bag, and unpack again, adding, adapting to something new, someone new? Maybe they find these activities are thrilling or maybe they don't even have a choice but they have to? Once, I want to experience this just because I believe it would make me become more acknowledged of how this process may cause me. So yeah, after being so long with the same guy, I had the guts to say, I wanna try this, 'hunting for experience' and end up being with him. Seriously, what was I thinking at that time? Stupid, I know because true love is about you falling in and out of love with the same person, and that, my friend will bring you the real experience, thrill and excitement.

I've found myself moving on too fast after having a serious downfall recently. It was quick, it may seemed that instant, but whatever it is, a Saviour came and filled those holes I've had, kept me happy, and still keeping me happy day by day. Meeting him was an accident, but yeah, he stays on a purpose now. A soulmate? The other half? A companion? A boyfriend? A future husband? An enemy? You name it, he is the guy of many characters. I love this guy, he's so amazing, I mean, what more can you get? loyal, know how to treat his girl right in so many ways, sensitive, sensible, sensual, incredible, heals my wound, wise, the one I've been searching for all this while. He reminds me of I am when I'm in love, the way I treat the one I loved, is this a coincidence or what? Seeing people who resembles my character loving me in the present? :) Well, I guess what you give is what you get. One thing for sure is I'm going to keep him. I've always find myself being insecure, having fears after the break up. Somebody told me not to be afraid when the time comes, and here I am, keeping that word that I won't back down, look back and leaving the past behind. Sure, there will always be stains, tracks, and marks but I don't want them to haunt me. I'm still somehow still shifting from I-don't-really-know-how-to-describe-the-phase-is. And yes, it was on fifteen of last two months. Fifteen fifteen fifteen, never thought you could be that much of historical :)

Go easy on me, go easy on this girl.

April Rush.

2011-04-05T23:22:00.004+08:00

"Calar tetap calar". - a friend.

Don't even have to bother to rewind, reverse, ctrl+z. You'll get a command error, anyway. The best way is just to go through it, with faith that a change will appear at your door if only you're being true to yourself and people around you.

Introduction; Keep It Short, They Won't Even Bother to Remember.

2011-03-24T06:24:00.006+08:00

I am Hemophobia. Isn't it ironic for me to be able to illustrate my fear?

..And Its Just Disappointing Seeing How I'm Being Judged

2011-02-04T05:07:00.004+08:00

2008.

I've been away, enjoying my life without any pressure and I've come to realise that I finally getting the hang on problems that I've faced in the past. It feels good to finally recover, although in a short period of time but who knows but yes I can say I'm proud of myself! :p I never thought the day where I don't need him would come, I never thought I would survive and I thought it'll take longer than this to recover but praise to Allah, this is going good, my life is finally going good, oh shall I say better? :) I'm glad I have friends, family,songs, and the most appreciation goes to Allah S.W.T. He is never tired of listening my cries and my prayers. Eh, sound like I've been given an award, ey? :)

One thing for sure is that 'studies issues' been bugging me like urgh all the time. haha thats what I have to face, no doubt. I feel like disappointing my parents this time around for having lack of spirit in doing works and for not giving my best at it :( I'm truly sorry, mak ayah. That why I've decided to be away for the next trimester for three months. Resting my head at home, looking after mak, adik adik and the house. I like doing those stuffs honestly even though I complain like a kid ;p Oh and I have exams coming out next week. Wish me all the best, lovelies :)

Picture Purrrfect

2011-01-04T01:31:00.003+08:00

2010. 2010. Not a really good year for me. Oh it was good most of it, until at the very end. Throughout this love road we traveled, somebody drew new roads for us to cross, and in the end, all that left is me, walking on the same road, wishing everything is still fine. I'm not happy being an option. An option you would not choose. An option who is neglected and left behind, shrinking and hurting. Theres a hole, that no one could heal. Except me and Allah. Others can help but still, the whole idea depends on me whether to move on or to stay. I wish everything would be better in 2011. I want 'better' to be in my dictionary for 2011, badly. Wave hello to 2011. Goodbye 2010 and all the pain I had in 2010. And most of all, goodbye to you.

Lesson Learned Part Two.

2010-12-21T22:30:00.007+08:00

How short my mind thinks due to sleeping at forbidden hours hurts her. Should have just go out the other day. All the other matters could wait. But the excruciating pain you're having is an exception. Due to that, I'm truly sorry, my dear friend.

For some reasons I think I should learn some humanities rather than simply talk. Talk is cheap, they say. How I wish I could hug you but I'm a terrible expresser. Words are the only medium I'm comfortable with.

I know how messy I'm currently. I feel ugly and not appreciated, not having someone I could rely on and etcetera. I messed up, big time. Everything just seems to be changing drastically and I can't keep up with that. I feel so bad for hurting people that I love. And I can say that distance and term are causing me a lot of tense. The longer the distance between us, and the more we're into our relationship, I tend to give higher expectation to him and that is the reason why I screwed up just because things don't go the way I wanted to. To be honest, I want us to have some time apart to give us some time just to have things going back to normal. But I can't, I couldn't, I can't handle it. I'm just becoming more obsessed. And when I push myself in, its just like I'm letting myself dealing with this pain again and again. It just keep on and on and on. Hurting and Healing. Should I just let it fly? Should I just deal with it? Or should I just bare with distance for a while? I'm clueless.

Yearning.

2010-12-19T03:03:00.003+08:00

If you love me, come and fight for me. You should know that I'm always waiting. If you love me, come and tell me how much you're worth. If you love me prove to me how valuable you are to me. Patch up all of these wound you've caused. Tell me I'm your world, prove to me that I am. Talk is cheap. All I need is more action, aggressiveness and more soul to it.

'You're So Seventeen,' says the other half.

2010-12-13T04:41:00.008+08:00

I found a potion to go back in time. Order, anyone? -November 26 at 8:36pm

I know, on how much I left this blog intact for a long time. I just don't know what to write. Empty. Just like her. I think I have her syndrome as well. Her? the person I love most. She's the one who help me a lot. Through everything, every storms, every rainbows. She's the one who makes me stand tall. Who I am today, the face, the smile, even the feet I have, are the mark she leaves for me, for us.

Change. Changed, involuntarily. and still changing. There you are, for so long, so so long since the last time I saw you, you're so thin. You barely walk around. Smiles were exchanged. Embraced. The couch, you've been on it for a long time, don't you think? How I wish, I could fill your heart. The hole inside your heart, seems so deep. Those pills you take, I wish I could replace them with feet massages that you mentioned it could help you sleep. Whats on your mind? Share, share like you used to. Probably there are nothing on you're mind. Literally, empty. I miss you.

The reason being I would like to go back in time is to see you smile happily. I miss your funny gestures. I need someone to listen to me, nag whenever you wanted to, cook with me and sing whenever you're happy. Go shopping with me. Someone I can chat with. Someone who can still cheer up whenever bad things happen. This sorta grief I'm feeling is like the feeling of my mirror's broken, and I've been cursed with seven years of bad luck.

I know, someone should not feel regret in making mistakes they have done and look ahead. Losing what they accomplished. Its not just it when I said I could go back in time. Its not in that context, at all. I just want, my ordinary, normal life back. My family. Happy family portrait.

House full of happiness. Whole and complete. Laughters and joys. Yes, I know how typical this is but yeah I could really use a wish right now.

I miss you, mak. Get well soon. I know somehow. someday, you'll light the fusebox inside of you with the help of our prayers and support.

There's someone here reminds me of you. He reminds me of your teaching in class, mak. He's so funny and an observer. He knows how to handle his students with his jokes in class and all. He's just like you, isn't it? To me you're a dedicated teacher, a loving mother, and always been the greatest friend of mine. You're my everything, mak. I love you, I love you, I love you.

They blew me away.

2010-09-24T01:08:00.007+08:00

Its just never stop.

I had a great night.

"oh it feels like the first time, everytime"

- Amazed, Lonestar.

Why? : There was a surprise birthday party in advance for me held few hours ago. xD

See my tears of joy? :')

Happy birthday to me in advance! I am touched :) and not to mention HUNGRY! they made me waited for hours and I believed the " pranksters' " reasons for real. But it was worth the wait after all :)

Guest list: Tengku Izzati, Raja Zakiyy, Husna Faizal, Maryah Rahmat,Ummi Johan, Aryana Grace Lia, Wan Sya,Iftikhar Ahmad, Nabihan Nordin, Noorsyafiq Aziz, Rahimi Zulasmin, Jack Wan Sparrau, Umar Al-Faruq, Muhd Irfan, Adrin An

uar, Arif Haziq, Shah Hafiz, Teddx Nasril,Haizeel Bin Hashnan, Haireey Hashnan, Mohd Ayai, Fitri Amron, Muhd Asyraf, Paanto Marcello, and Izham Adly Mohd Sofi.

:D Thank you guys! I don't know any words to replace 'thank you' to express my gratitude towards this event.

The mastermind :) Thanks Nia and Raja Zakiyy!

Thank you for everything!

Look what they gave me as my birthday in advance present! :D

I'm very thankful and I really really like it! :)

Good luck on your Japanese Language For Beginners Final Exam!

"Birthday birthday jugak...boyfriend ni jangan lupa."

I always remember you lah! Sorry lah I was a bit busy, dear boyfie.

I'll make up to you, sorrysorry. :'(

p/s : Wish me luck for Korean Language For Beginners Final Exam!

Nuff said.

2010-09-07T13:55:00.000+08:00

Dealing The Impudent Nuisance

Step Inside, :)

2010-08-31T08:17:00.004+08:00

Closing my store.

Done with mapping, lighting and rendering.

1 down, 4 to go :|

Hello, hello, hello

2010-08-31T04:38:00.005+08:00

Room for three.

I'm glad that we've finally reunited. I miss you, girl. Seriously. I'm really am sorry for everything. I wish we could be like we used to be. I almost gave up on that. All that I learnt is that once you have someone special, you shouldn't be taking them for granted. It wasn't easy for me to accept that some things will not be exactly on how it should be. Harder for me to accept this :

"We can’t waste too much time missing something or someone from the past. We accept that life’s never constant; things change and people grow apart. Yet we can’t stop thinking about how good it used to be; afraid that we’d never experience it again, afraid that we’ve already lived it and lost it."

You're the best I've ever had. Shame on me for everything that happened. Shame, shame on me.

Holidays are about to arrive, finally! hehe but I have a lot of assignments lining up to be finished. I wish they could just vanish.

I'm dancing and delaying them. How that sounds huh? :p

No no good.

Reasons why I'm up all night

2010-08-25T12:33:00.009+08:00

My sleeping schedule is topsy turvy,

Sleeping at night isn't necessary anymore

Slept during the day, being rational during night

Been doing tutorials from Psdtuts+,

Spread some colours on the drawing I took from the tutorial

This is new to me. Proves how lame I am when everybody already had done this since forever.

I've decided to draw and colour myself

Eva Marie on Yahoo! Messenger Doodle.

Eva Marie on Photoshop.

With the background I've created out of boredom.

Look how sad I am. Sad, really?

Okay the thing is I'm a little bit overjoyed.

Somebody might like it, somebody might just hate it at their first glance.

But this is me, showing off :) Hahaha ;p

It is rare to see me publishing my artwork just because I'm not very confident in what I'm doing and thats bad, man.

I'm having some issues in me that I seem to carry on and on, feeling like I'm lack of something.

What is the right term for this? aaaaaaaa...

Go figure!

Glitch In My System

2010-08-14T04:29:00.003+08:00

My Jay Sean Addiction

I can be your symphony,

2010-08-13T05:22:00.011+08:00

A little gay side of me :)

"Beautiful girls have nothing on men" - B.O.B ft Bruno Mars

but I'm sure they have something on girls. :D

Jessica Lowndes, as Adrianna Tate Duncan (90210)

Kaya Scodelario , as Effy Stonem (Skins)

Selena Gomez xD, as the way she is.

Leighton Meester , as Blair Waldrof (Gossip Girl)

yup she's in my list. Although I

kinda prefer Blake Lively more.

Lucy Hale, as Aria Montgomery (Pretty Little Liars) and Ian Harding * tee hee :D

Sophia Bush, as Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill)

Do you know what they have in common? They are all brunette ;p

I love their role play,although they are just fictional characters :)

Admiring, nothing more. Ahem :D

Visit Me, Soul Sister.

2010-08-11T06:38:00.011+08:00

I just don't usually do this. But I like this entry so much until I've decided to share it with you :D

The Guys Girls Don't Want To Date With

by Faradiba Anuar, my all- time-favourite writer :)

Being single gives you so much credits and access or some sort of passes to a lot of opportunities on choosing the best and deciding for yourself whats good and whats not. It also opens up for people to get to know you closer without having to worry on anyone who might get themselves really pissed that their other half is being approached or somewhat. It is about experimenting life and meeting up more candidates that will finally, insyaAllah, give you a fruitful result. Hehe. Being single also gives you the right to set up your own planning ahead, and give you some space to decide and think of what kind of quality u really seeks in for a partner. A serious one for yourself in future. You can list down as many as you want. No one’s gonna stop you.

my all-time-favorite Good Guy i would definitely want to date with.-FD

I once read somewhere on the internet, I’m not sure on whoever’s blog or any article posted online but yeah I kinda read through how the writer wrote on something that sounds like “the type of girl guys don’t like”. So today while I was having my shower earlier this morning, I got this sudden idea rushed through my mind to write on something similar to it, except that this time it is from the girl-point-of-view’s version. I’m gonna make some twist here. I’m gonna write on what kind of guy that really turns girls off, (or at least guys that turns ME off), in order to guide all the guys out there, I hope, to not be like those I’m about to list down here later. These can also be considered as the list of the guy I will not date.
(or most of girl will not, too)

1. Guys who brags a little too much.
Ahem, my number one NO-NO criteria in the list of rejection. I have been dating few times and I experienced knowing guys with this attitude, chronic ones. You see, braggers are not cool and turn us girls off simply because they sometimes speak a little too much but do not perform like what they said. Braggers are also narcissist. They always want to talk about themselves instead of listening to the good side of the girl. Braggers are sickening because they always think they are right, because they have a very high confident towards themselves that ditches all other people’s opinion and comments. Guys who have this attitude will not survive for a long term relationship because they make girls puke by the end of the time where their girls find its nauseous to date one man who always think he’s too hot and too good and etc etc…

2. Guys who smokes too much.
First of all I would not date smokers because I’ve got a serious Asmethic problem where smokes could kill me fast. So unless the smoker can stop voluntarily if he were to date seriously with me, I’d give the arrogant face saying NO NO to him because it is not just me who ant stand smokers, we the whole family cant cope with these people too. Abah personally smoked before he got married to mama, and after getting married he decided to quit because of his self awareness that mama was also a serious Asmethic patient. So there you go.. If abah can stop because he loves mama and don’t wanna bring harm to the rest of the family members, why not the rest of you out there? I mean, I think most girls and not just me actually don’t really favor having their partner smoking all the time.. its killing us softly, u know?

3. Guys who calls everyone sayang.
THIS is one major factor that always turns me off. Always? Yes, because I’ve made friends with a lot of new-guy-friend and most of the time I find it really disgusting when they can simply assign everyone they have just got to know with names that is supposed to be used only for special ones such as Sayang, Baby, Love yadayadayada. Girls, they loved to feel special and to be made special in one’s life. Calling them with names like that, and then flirting a little bit too much, and later calls everyone else with the same name, is totally unacceptable. If I were to date any guy in future, I do not want the type that calls other girl with the same name he’d assign me with. Say he calls me sweetheart, then don’t go around and assign others with the same name too. Its stupid. There have to be differences between the special girlfriend and the normal hanging out friends. If theres no differences at all, and theres no gap or boundaries, then whats the different of having a girlfriend and not?

4. Control freaaaakkkss..
Bad. This is really bad. Guys who’d call every few hours asking who are you with and where you at, what time does your class finishes and could you please return back my call as soon as class disperses. Those kinda commands………. Boring.
Girls can sometimes feel annoyed too by controlling boyfriends like this. We normally heard cases that highlighted on girls being queen control, and ‘sealed’ their boyfriend from moving freely. Now this time let me reveal that actually girls sometimes hated being ‘taped’ and locked up too. I am outgoing and always on the move. I always have activities with friends and family. If I were to have a boyfriend, I’d definitely hope for guy who’ll not spent his phone credits or pay his bills 100% on calling me to check me up all the time.
Give me some space. I’m already the girlfriend, I’ll behave, I don’t have to be informed about that.

5. Guys who complains about money ALLTHETIME.
In my life, I never like any form of conversation that discusses on monetary issues, especially in a relationship. I do not like to argue about financial status and I do not like to be asked about my expenses and my flow of money or such. I grow up independent having my own back up businesses each year and I know how to deal with my own money, well. Eventhough I am just like other normal girls, I love shopping sometimes and I would also buy things that I really want at times, but I will always ensure that I do not cross the line. I do not depend solely on parents and boyfriend. So having a boyfriend who’d whine and complains about expenses, bills and increase of fuel price will certainly turns me off. Another no-no.

I don’t like to be situated in the position where I feel like it is burdening to have me in his life as he keeps on complaining on the expenses each time going out dating or having vacations or such. A gentleman would never complain, they’d ask for a discussion, sit and talk and slowly penetrate into the conversation and explain on the problem wisely. That kind of guy who knows how to tell bad situation in a good way, is totally hot.

6. Bookworms who totally date with just book.
Once upon a time before, I thought bookworms are hot. They have their own fantasy world they live in that they spend with bookssss readingssss and yeah, books again and blablabla. I used to think these guys who loves reading are sexy because they reads, and they have a lot of knowledge through it of course. But when it comes to super-freak-bookworms, argh. Off the lights. Me got turned-off. Don’t go to date bringing books and don’t just talk about the lates best sellers when you are in a relationship with a girl. The girl will definitely feel awful because the book is much more attractive to her boyfriend rather than her standing or sitting in front of you.

One way to twist ur addiction on reading and make it not boring for the girlfriend of yours; share what you read with her. Talk to her about it and let her read it too, maybe. Relationship is always about sharing. So if I were to have a boyfriend one day, even if he is the ultimate bookworm in the universe, I’d be okay if he offers me to read together instead of covering his face with Paulo Coelho’s recent best sellers when we’re having our lunch together.

7. Guys who thinks cheating is sexy.
Kepala hantu dia. Sorry for the word. But im really turned off with this kind of guys. I’ve got a lot of friends who talked to me when their girlfriend caught them red-handed. You know, the same old stories. And I really, really feel like slapping each of them whenever I asked them why do they cheat, and they’ll answer that they think its sexy and NORMAL. You crazy? It’s a relationship of two parties we’re talking about here! If you want more than just three then you should’ve considered yourself a swinger who swings and should never declare a one-on-one relationship at 1st place.

8. Guys who haven’t get over their past.
Blergh, these are the losers. You know, they would always bring you somewhere and then in the middle of the dinner they’d come out with things like; “oh my ex loves to have this after main course!” “Ah, I know that place! Been there with my ex before!” and so on.
How sickening is that? Moving on means letting one self free from the memories of the passed. I don’t want to hear things like; my ex dulu suka macam ni suka mcam tu kitorang selalu macam ni macamtu. Nak mati ke. Are you dating me or dating your ex sekarang.?
Sakit hati wey. So yes if I were to date a new guy tolonglah harap orang tu betul betul have get over his exes.

9. Guys who doesn’t have a good bond with his family.
I treasured family relationship so much. I love family gatherings and most of the time I am the organizer for my huge family events. You’d know that if you are my hardcore blogreader. Wrote a lot about those events I planned and organized. If I were to date anyone anytime soon, the person must come from a family that values relationship between siblings, mother-son, father-son and so on. I don’t like those type that refuse to answer when I ask about their family. I mean, its your family, kenapa tak boleh cerita? Orang lagi seronok nak cerita pasal family ni tau. I also don’t like those that have boring families who sometimes doesn’t even communicate in a year and only meet up with each other during Hari Raya or kematian sape sape in the family. Kalau macamni la.. Haih.. Boring nya. Tak boleh la bawak pergi my family Annual BBQ Gathering. (=_=”)

10. Hot-tempered guys.
Those who settles problems by smacking doors and throwing things, and those who find screaming as the best way to ‘express’ their anger. Gila ke apa. Nanti kalau kahwin, buat macamtu dekat anak anak? Hish.. definitely fail to be a good father. I am also scared of guys who abuse girls tarik rambut tumbuk tampar terajang segala. Alhamdulillah I haven’t experience being friends to any. But I have really close friend who used to have the abusive boyfriend she had to lodge a police report one day when it got too much..
I don’t want myself to be in that situation. I hate coercion, force of power, threats and blackmails. Love and healthy relationship should never have these elements of violence. Silap silap kalau ada anak nanti dia terajang je budak tu bila menangis.

11. Guys who ponteng Solat Jumaat.
I don’t like them simply because I love Friday, its penghulu segala hari and also kat Kedah cuti. Even if in KL or other places tak cuti pun, all organizations in our country nowadays memang provide waktu rehat yang extended on every Friday for the muslims to go for Solat Jumaat. Kedai kedai perniagaan pulak diharuskan tutup untuk menghormati Solat Jumaat. So kenapa tak mahu pergi jugak? Kan kalau ponteng solat jumaat sengaja selama tiga kali berturut, kira berdosa besar, kan?
I am not that good in agama also, but since I know I am not good la, I need a man who’s not teruk also, because if I were to have a special boyfriend of course he’ll have to guide me and change all the bad to the good ones. Right?

12. Perverts.
I don’t want to be girlfriend to perverts because I don’t want tio have a dirty minded boyfriend. Being naughty once in a while is okay, but not too often la. Kalau all the time nak cakap nasty nasty ni.. adeh.. Penat la nak layan. Sometimes feel uncomfortable also. Of course we want to date the person we’re most comfortable with but if I were to have a perv boyfie, memang tak lama la.. I’d feel insecure knowing that this guy I’m dating with are actually one who thinks about dirty things all the time. Then nak pakai sexy sikit pun susah nanti, sebab he’ll start imagining things. Dah la all my shirts are wide-necked, low-cut, off-shouldered. Haha. Pakai tudung la macamni. Tengok mash bernafsu lagi ke tak perverts ni. Aaa.
One more reason why I think I cant have a perv as a boyfie is because I hate it when I walked holding hands with my boyfriend, and then a smexy girl walked passed us by, then this boyfriend pergi pandang macam nak makan punya. Sampai 360 degree pusing kepala mata pandang atas bawah. Padahal tangan genggam aku tu. Hadoi. Malu okay ada bf macamni.. girlfriend kat sebelah, boyfriend mata and imagination melayang. Please la. Tak nak.

13. Guys who have the lazybum syndrome and those who aren't productive.
Guys in this category will automatically fills in the list of calon bapa bapa boroi menjelang usia 40an. I dont want to go for dinner where I siapkan myself in the most beautiful and pleasant looking way but my husband walks next to me with a 4month preggar-belly. Sorry. Even abah does not have this syndrome, well probably because he keeps himself fit as his job requires him to do so. I love seeing mama and abah as a perfect match each time they dressed themselves up matchy patchy for formal events and important ceremonies. They looked so compatible and suits one another really well. Cause mama have this small figure and she's not fat definitely, and she always look awesome in Kurung Modern, while abah stands tall and handsome, sleek and smart in his unifrom and badges next to mama. GREAAATTT couple they both are.

I only wanna date guys who are NOT lazy bum who lie on the bed watching dvds or even worst pornography all the time instead of going out doing something and get himself productive. I cant stand having a boyfriend who live, eat, read, drink, on his bed ONLY. Pemalas. Tak suka.

Rasa macam dah banyak sangat pulak. Maybe I got carried away this time. Maybe because theres too much I’ve had to go through before that this time the list gets longer. Haha no wonder u don’t have any companion Diba. Look at those you wrote up there. But hey, of course I wrote all that because I know theres something good about me that makes me deserves NOT to date any one of those kind of guys I’ve mentioned before. I know I am not perfect myself. I’ve got so much flaws in me. Physically and mentally. Nobody is born perfect. But hyeah, listing out is not a crime, as the reason why we did so is to ensure we ourselves find the right one for the right time finally. Nobody wants to fail again and again, right?

So that’s it for my list this time. If I think theres more that I need to top up on, maybe I’ll just have a sequel to this entry later. Nahaha. Btw, im not picky, and I don’t think I’m sooo good I can demand what kind of guy I want and I don’t. I just don’t want to waste any more time getting into wrong relationships, fails and break up again, and meet new people, try, fail, and break up again and I don’t want to be in the same rotation in my life ever again. So yeah. May the best wins.

I don't think I have to elaborate more. Except for the fact that my definition of good guy is just not Edward Cullen, sorry :)

Just Call Me A Fan, Dear Celebrity.

2010-08-03T03:43:00.002+08:00

Compilations :)

Motivations.

Took some "me-time" and recovers :)

A longing.

I miss you, really.

Love notes for a friend.

An open wound.

Almost gave up on love.

Ups and Downs

Mindset.

Older post. Histories. I can't sleep.

Wonders

2010-07-23T13:10:00.006+08:00

Things you do for love....

Following someone on their way back home

Spending some money to pretend you're in the same store as him

Wasting a lot of time thinking will he loves you back

Stalking him on Facebook

Dedicating songs to him, looking at lyrics and find yourself in the situation of the lyrics

Wishing he knew you're into him but making it less obvious

Picturing you and him together on a long trip, having fun together, sleeping on his shoulder,holding hands

Travels miles just to be together, taking every risk.. no matter what it takes..

Pretend on occasion just to make sure he is happy

Giving away all you have including money, body and soul

Try so hard to make him happy

Stay faithful even though deep inside you tried to break the trust

Take note to his interests and try to like it too

Transform, change the way you look just to impress him

Texting him all the time just to make sure he is not lonely

Put words together on how you feel about him

Write blog posts related to him

Doing all activities together, forget the rest, its just you and him in the world

Getting envious.

Fights when things go wrong,

Apologize the next day realizing how you can't live without him

Act stupid, be humorous to make him laugh

Doing cute faces with him xD

Cries a lot

Talking on the phone from night till late in the morning

Bake, cook for him

Lie just to be together,

Use other people to make sure you'll have him

Even worse, kill to get what you want.

Everyday I love you.

Planning ahead.

2010-07-21T19:29:00.001+08:00

Bread and butter pudding

for mid-trimester break.

and Oh, Penang

I love my home, don't you? :)

Bridget.

2010-07-21T02:47:00.002+08:00

I can't wait to go back. Its been almost two months :(

I will be there, soon. Home, wait for me.

Hope everything goes well, InsyaAllah.

:')

Happy mid-term break guys! HAHA

but wait, submission is still on and everything is still unsettled.

Finish it off, M.

AWSM.

2010-07-21T02:36:00.004+08:00

PapaRich-Nia-thanks! bon odori-i-city-superb! Assignments-tense-work out in the end-AWSM.

Pray for a change. Keep praying for a change.

A good one, for sure because you know you deserve better.

Remember to love yourself.

Signing off.

Homesick much?

2010-07-16T23:12:00.002+08:00

I can't do my assignments.

There are just plenty of it, but my heart and hand just don't wanna move toward progressing it.

Blame my lazy ass.

Guilty Pleasure.

2010-07-10T19:50:00.004+08:00

I don't know what hits me, I'm just happy. No heart broken and such, but I enjoy listening to break up songs lately :D

Tickle Me, Fish! :)

2010-06-28T00:45:00.002+08:00

Went to Cute Fish Spa, located at Jusco Tmn Equine,SK.
Its quite cheap, I suppose. Or not to say cheap but worth the money which is 5ringgit for 10 mins. D'oh(Nia's style xD) I still owe Nia that 5ringgit! :p

Its kinda tickling but I admit it is a way to release your stress.
I'm having issues with health and beauty. My self esteem is currently at the lowest.
Being beautiful is on my wish list. I wish that my skin is flawless and I don't have to fix anything on it.
Get off me, fats! because you're ruining the way I look inside my jeans.

Fix me, fix me, anyone?

Maybe Mr. Doctor Fish could help! :))

Garisan Perak Manis.

2010-06-24T02:33:00.003+08:00

Waktu sekarang menunjukkan jam dua dan tiga puluh lima minit pagi di paparan monitorku.
Aku sekarang sedang menunggu waktu untuk sahur. Ya, tinggal lagi tujuh hari untuk aku menggantikan puasa yang telah aku tinggal pada bulan Ramadhan yang lepas. Jumlah hari yang banyak bukan? Salah siapa sekarang? Salah diriku yang menunggu saat-saat terakhir untuk melakukan gantian puasa ini.

Aku masih lagi berchatting bersama si dia, kekasih hatiku yang rela menunggu saat untuk bersahur bersama-sama. Kami jauh dalam segi jarak fizikal, namun aku pasti aku dekat di hatinya begitu juga dirinya yang dekat dengan diriku.

Aku rindukan rumah.

Baru beberapa minggu aku di sini, memulakan kursus ijazah pertama dalam bidang yang aku pasti ini yang aku mahu selama ini setelah semakin hari aku semakin kenal siapa diriku. Aku mengaku dalam perjalanan aku mencari identiti diriku, aku hilang siapa diri aku sebenar untuk seketika. Hah apa aku merapu ini? Tapi tidak apa-apa, boleh bukan aku berceloteh panjang di diari digital aku ini? Okay, sambung. Aku hilang bukan dari segi identiti, tapi dari segi daya pemikiranku yang semakin lemah, aku tidak dapat berfikir seperti diriku yang mempunyai jiwa remaja lima belas tahun itu kerana waktu itu sangat manis bagiku. Aku ingin kembali kepada waktu itu, dan menyebab kan aku lost track seketika terhadap apa yang lebih penting iaitu hari ini.

Aku hargai segala pahit getir aku lalui bersama rakan-rakan dalam fasa Asasi ku pada Jun 2009 sehingga Jun 2010.
Aku doakan kebahagiaan dan keberkatan hidup kamu semua. InsyaAllah.
Terutama kaum keluarga ku.

Aku harap aku dapat berada di rumah. Aku selesa di sana. Tapi semua orang harus keluar dari comfort zone bukan?

p/s : Maafkan aku kalau ayatku tidak gramatis, tatabahasa yang cacat dan lain lain kelemahan yang aku lakukan pada bahasa ibunda aku ini.

Ctrl+z

2010-05-24T22:27:00.003+08:00

The world is changing us
slowly to the place we will not look back, guiding us through the haze

Bad breath

Political issues, financial issues, statuses and priorities, relationships and families.

The connection is strong. The world is still the as the way it is, the way God created it.

But what changes us are the issues mentioned above.

so tell me how many people within your circle been changing to something productive and better?
I could answer back, theres none.

I could really use a wish right now.

Yes, a time machine. If it does exist, show me the way.

Draw me a map, and I'll start an adventure which involve me and nobody else.

But as long as you can still live and cherish each day you've spent on earth, you should never regret the way I do because yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift.

Keep moving on, people! :)

Muhd Luqman AbdulRasyid bin Rafiee,

2010-05-24T19:39:00.001+08:00

Praying for a change.

:)

Noted,

2010-05-23T11:43:00.003+08:00

Photo by Raja Zakiyy.

I'm running out of words.

Date to remember : 21st May 2010.

The end of alpha/foundation year.

Looking back, I've realized how much I've changed.

I've changed into a person who I don't want to be.

I've also transformed into something good.

I've done things which I thought I couldn't.

I've known a lot of good friends. Gained and lost, thats just the only problem.

I've break free.

Lose insanity.

Homesick.

Above all, I'm still me.

Knock, knock.

I'm home :)

All the J's

2010-05-20T01:29:00.001+08:00

Jesse Jason Jay Justin Jack John Jamie anymore J's ?

Disconnected.

2010-05-17T22:46:00.005+08:00

You're holding grudge, and its not healthy.

Forgetting what we used to be, ignorance.

Its not a bliss anymore. It became a rival.

Ugly, ugly, ugly. Have you seen it?

What happened to them?

My kind of man? Relationship I wish I'm having?

I like man who opens up about himself.

A man who keeps me updated with what's been going on mentally.

No not really physical. But its still necessary, heheh :)

A man who can argue about things, current issue.

From entertainment, news and even sports.

Just like mom and dad :')

Its okay if we have different interest, that would spice up things more :D

A man who'll let me watch football with, in front of tv at home.

Which I maybe would end up sleeping on his lap in the end, or cheering 'GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!' , and its okay both ways for him.

The one that would like to study with me, motivate each other.

Who would take a walk with me. Anytime, anywhere.

He remembers every single details about me. Not just the one I've told him, but the thing I've never mentioned too.

I'm wishing you're here...

Any questions? spill,

http://www.formspring.me/meiyam

Odd.

2010-05-17T13:48:00.002+08:00

Dear Nabihan Nordin,

cut the "dear diary,"!

Its annoying -.-'

Bbyee :D

170507

2010-05-16T23:22:00.011+08:00

3 Years back

17th May 2007.

Dear diary,

today was a special day.

A very special day.

Its official :)

Out of the blue, he texted me a secret number

A code.

Huda cracked that for me.

I forgot the numbers :(

Translated, it was....

Something I've always wanted

That made me smile all day long

A dream, I thought I wouldn't have a chance

I'm head over heels.

Overjoyed.

I believe in dreams now.

He fulfilled it in for me.

I can't help but say, I do.

I do. I would love to and YES.

He called me for the first time.

OHHH JUST BY HEARING HIS VOICE,

everything goes Topsy-turvy but in a perfect way.

I LOVE HIM, thats all that matters.

Till then, diary.

2nd October 2009

26th October 2009
16th May 2010

History of you and me.

We've been in a relationship for 3years now.

Exchanging those three words everyday.

Even though its not the same now,

a part of us is not that strong like the way it used to be

c-o-m-p-l-i-c-a-t-e-d is the right word to describe this relationship,

but baby, please let me say this,

Happy 3rd Anniversary, Muhd Luqman AbdulRasyid bin Rafiee.

I hope we'll get older, in the same house that you'll build.

I'll colour your life, I'll make sure that grief would be the last thing you'll experience.

Even though I'm such a pain in the ass, I do act like one. HAHAHA :D

but I'll make sure I'll fill the glass for you.

Whats in store for us?

Happiness, InsyaAllah. :)

I love you.

I Won't Be Long,Trust Me,

2010-05-16T12:48:00.007+08:00

Maryam, 18 plus, A dreamer.

Dreams I had last night,

Check-check one.

I was so bloody tired.

I laid my head on his hands. He pushed his hands away.

So I laid my my head oh his beg. He grab my head again, putting it on his chest.

He played with my hair. Strumming through it. One thing led to another. It was intimate.

Check one-two

I came to his campus. I went to his room, for real -.-'

met anas there. They were busy tweeting and doing assignments

We went out. Me, luqman, anas and qila.

I put my head on his lap. He kissed my forehead

The guard have seen us, we were escaping from him

Met syema too, she asked me about mom,

I couldn't answer. Stammered.

Met mom, coincidently.

Hugged mom. :')

Ask me anything, http://www.formspring.me/meiyam

I'm Just Completely Incomplete

2010-05-15T23:57:00.007+08:00

3 Years Back

16th May 2007
Teacher's Day

Dear Diary,
He looked so handsome today.
You should know how jealous I am when a girl admit she's texting him.
You should see my face when I saw he snapped the picture of that cute dancer.
He shouldn't have to take a peek on me because I felt for it.
Honestly, I don't know what to do.
It's confusing. To not being able to understand how he feels about me.
Are we sharing the same feeling? Because honestly, I'm stuck.
He's contagious.
I like him, I do like him.
But does he likes me too?
He left me in wonder
The way he teases me, the way he looks at me, and the way he talks to me...
Its just special.
But could it be he does that to another girl?
Or to every girls?
I don't know. I'm just confused.
Can't wait to see him again.

Till then, diary.

Buhbye.

Fool Me, Fool Me.

2010-05-15T12:18:00.004+08:00

I'm letting it go. Loosen up.

To think of it, its true.
I'm too young to think of these problems.

I'm only 19 for God's sake!
Chill :)

Its too early.

Uh, good bye.

Watch Me Bleed.

2010-05-15T12:13:00.003+08:00

I've always have a thing for country love. Adore the colour effects.

JEALOUSY.

Wrap Me Around Your Arms.

2010-05-14T23:40:00.003+08:00

WARMTH

Explain these feelings I'm feeling
I'm playing my own game and I'm trapped
I wish I was her
I feel her existence in my own reflection
I like her in any ways
Does she deserves you?

If I go away, If I wouldn't be able to be there
will you miss me?
will you seek me?

3years in almost another 2 days
Can you just appear out of no where with roses and hugs?
Because I seriously do need plenty of it
I need that flame again
I need to feel that you're here

Bbyee.

That Big Hearts

2010-05-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

NAK!

Stagnant

2010-05-14T03:17:00.005+08:00

There are so many things been bugging me currently.
One of it is that I'm hungry.
And the fact that I have no more assignments left and I can't really think straight.
The fact that I'm super upset, and who I've been to you.
on how miserably I've treated you.
on how you treat me back.
on the fact that I love seeing you sleeping in front of the webcam but the laptop is lagging.
and you name it.

WEIRD.

Its A Wrap?

2010-05-12T20:04:00.008+08:00

Design Fundamentals THREE is officially over peeps!

The poster I've made for Design Fundamentals' final assignment.
"Next to the wound what women make best is the bandage" - Jules Barbey D' Aurevilly.

Beloved Popsicle Lamp :')

One more assignment to go and there's no more coursework.

Exam is on 17th May :D until 21st May.

Then, its going to be the end of foundation studies, people.

Its been One year. One short year.

One down, three to go.

Bliss,

2010-05-10T20:28:00.000+08:00

see-eh-milling non stop, :D

good day, people, good day.

Happy holidays, L.

2010-05-10T04:46:00.003+08:00

His mom.

happy mother's day to all moms.

but yeah, as Nia mentioned, everyday is mothers day.

Tengku Asiah, no matter what happens, stay strong. You've gone through a lot, remember?

Sorry, I couldn't be there when you're in need.

I wish I was. Mom, you know that I prefer doing chores than being here kan?

:( I really want to help you.

I love you so much, mak.

And above all the people I miss( honestly,there's a lot), you're on top of the list.

I Was a *

2010-05-09T16:12:00.002+08:00

4 years ago.

I'm so Jesse Mccartney, used to be. I remember crying hearing this song, and I wish whats in the past, stay in the past.

I'm still out to get you.

2010-05-09T03:25:00.002+08:00

Kenchanayo? Yes, everything is doing good.

Thanks to my best friend, L.Somehow, you're always there when I'm in need.

I've learnt a lot from you. I'm still going to learn a lot more from you.

What you've mentioned, its true somehow. I'm free from those unnecessary stress, because of you.

No matter how hurts it gets, you're still there, pushing me up and giving me strength.

I miss this, I miss the old us and I miss you.

You deserve this public confession, I love you.

Fly, Free Bird.

2010-05-05T03:20:00.002+08:00

Thank you for letting me feel like I do exist in your life and your imaginations, even for a while.

I'm on a boat.

I hope you won't come again

Thank you, yes you, you're being appreciated.

2010-05-03T20:04:00.002+08:00

Haha thank you thank you for those who are friendly enough to say hey to me even though we're in tensed situation right now. Thank you for smiling and for making me smile. Thank you for thinking of me, at least. :P

LOL , Huda Harun!

:D Thats my room wey!

shoooh!

Anas Shahir's.

2010-05-03T04:29:00.004+08:00

Every guy is supposed to have gene for being cool, especially things around them. But what if we’re all that, and the thing we most need of repair is our ego?
Why is it so hard for me to admit defeat and just pull out my white flags? Even with simple tasks, I was easily flummoxed and prune to self-mutilation. I really do want to be sweet kind of guy, who can always cheer their partner. A guy should be nice, more understanding and sweet. But time and time again I have proved that im not that guy. I can build disaster in a second but I can’t built happiness and joy in a second. And it is so much worst when im around this so called MacGyver but I don’t even learn a thing from them. I can say Azman, Luqman , Azeer and Sifu(bet jaja smiling now) are the man who I will ever envy because they know how to cheer their partner.

Yaaaa, the man who smile like Mr. McDonals. He can control himself. There is one time, Maryam was mad at luqman. I was with them. Then we stop at this one store called “More And Save”. By the time I get back to them. WALLLAH! Maryam was smiling and her face shows that she is in a comfort zone. Seriously I am stunned by that time.

- Anas Shahir

I didn't know you were stunned, Anas. Thanks, haha you do have a lot more qualities, more than you could ever expected. There must be something about you and qila would probably agree with me :P

Thank you, again :)

come again another day.

2010-05-02T19:02:00.004+08:00

Dear Friend,

thank you,

for giving me enough support,

for making my days,

for making me laugh,

for being there for me when I need it,

for your ideas,

for telling me the truth,

for letting me do crazy things with you,

for giving me what I've wanted,

for the surprise birthday party,

for waking me up,

for being at my door before class every morning,

for those countless laughs we had together,

for hearing my silly jokes,

for not making any irritating gestures around me,

for correcting my grammar mistakes,

for hugging me,

for missing me,

for the deep conversations we shared,

for not being angry with every mistakes I've made,

for forgiving my mistakes,

for being with me, thick or thin,

for loving me,

for everything.........

Thanks, again.

M ;)

These words are never enough.

2010-05-02T18:34:00.003+08:00

Dear Friend,

for what I've ever been to you,

for those words I've never been able to speak,

for not being there with you,

for not being able to tell you the truth,

for being jealous,

for not spending most of my times with you,

for not supporting you from back,

for not agreeing with your words,

for not replying your messages, your smiles,

for not getting your jokes,

for being so noisy,

for being so annoying,

for being so spoil,

for not being so strong to protect you,

for falling sick,

for not lending a shoulder when you need it,

for not giving you enough warmth,

for being lazy,

for not being cooperative,

for being so stubborn,

for ignoring you,

for not giving you enough love,

for everything......

I'm sorry.

Love,

This is odd.

2010-05-02T18:14:00.000+08:00

Dear L,

I miss you and nothing more.

I'm not here to get you anymore.

2010-05-02T17:44:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of being portrayed as good, naive, kind, and supportive.

People tend to run through me, they would care less as if I don't have any feelings. However, I'm forgetful, once you're forgiven, yes you are. There's no point of holding grudges and whatsoever not.

Lay back with me, baby. :)

You were right about her, and you still are.

2010-05-02T17:12:00.005+08:00

Somewhere only we know.

Alien : Hey babe!

The Girl Who Was Put To Test : Hey!! ♥♥♥♥♥

Alien : I have something to tell you.

The Girl Who Was Put To Test : Spill ;)

Alien : Sorry, you failed the test.

The Girl Who Was Put To Test : Ouh thats too bad. But its okay, there's always another time. :D

Alien : I'm really am sorry. See you soon.

The Girl Who Was Put To Test : Bbyee.

A Reply.

2010-05-01T21:38:00.002+08:00

You don't have to scream , you don't have to curse. No worries, I'm right here with you.

1079 days :)

Stay ay? :)

2010-05-01T09:07:00.002+08:00

Call it love, call it pain but you're still on my mind, LMH.

Hey Mickey! -Mastura Muhamad ♥

2010-05-01T02:21:00.007+08:00

Before I start, Congratulations,Meme! and Good luck. Its a good place to be at. Enjoy! Sorry it took a long time for me to do this. :p

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
As long as you love me- BSB

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Innocence - Avril Lavigne

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
You Are The Music In Me-HSM.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Fall To Peices-Avril Lavigne (ape ni, negative la)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Over Thinking (Acoustic)-Relient K

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Untitled- Simple Plan

Perfect! :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Beat Of My Heart-Hilary Duff (Yes they are!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Someday, Someway- S Club 7

WHAT IS 2+2?
Tonight-Westlife ( Is this song even exist in my playlist?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Kiss Yourself Goodbye- The All-American Rejects (OMG)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Because you loved me-Celine Dion

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Check on it -Beyonce

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I Need You- Relient K

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

See Ya- Atomic Kitten

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU
Dancing With Myself (Mean Girls soundtrack)-The Donnas

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Pick U Up - Adam Lambert

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Rain -Breaking Benjamin

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
My Girlfriend - Relient K

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Telephone -Lady Gaga

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Wake me up when September ends- Green Day

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Halfway Gone -Lifehouse (Huh :( ? )

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST REGRET?
Megalomania -Muse (Wow what that was supposed to mean?)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Mean - Pink

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Permataku-Mirwana

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Push The Button-Sugarbabes
(Great, you just have to push the button)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Can't Get You Out Of My Head- Kylie Minogue

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Keep Getting Better- Christina Aguilera

Haha sounds like the number been increasing, right? :P

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Bad News -Orianthi (Bingo!)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Trouble Is A Friend -Lenka

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
hey mickey! - Spice Girls

Can't Find The Expiry Date?

2010-05-01T01:39:00.004+08:00

♥

there's no expiry date :)

I love you.

Take me home with you.

2010-04-30T21:01:00.004+08:00

7 months ago.

:D

Crack.

2010-04-29T23:32:00.001+08:00

I solved a puzzle.

Changed the layout.

and lovin' it.

Does it makes you happy to use me a little?

2010-04-29T19:29:00.008+08:00

Reasons to smile.

I have no expression for this picture.

I'm loving it as the way it is.

and off to cyberpark!

ACMA :)

Sleepoverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

Tiehot :)

Do-oh-main.

Hi!

Lazy to print screen :P

Sisters sisters

Mi mama :D

Oh, I miss home. Seriously.

Its Been A Year.

2010-04-26T09:15:00.005+08:00

Almost a year, is this the end? Few more weeks left and then I'll be taking my degree course?

WOW. I wasn't prepared. Not that really much prepared.

mhmm I've changed the layout to plain boring black.

There's a lot of assignments, I'm still struggling to work on this, while others is about to finish

their's. To list some, there's

1. Computer Graphics' Flash works,

2. Design Fundamentals - Poster on "Women"

based on our chosen quote. Mine is " Next to the wound what women make best is the bandage" - Jules Barbey D' Aurevilly.

3. English's Media Based Production (Group work, credit goes to Sena)

4. English's Mini Research Project -Report as long as 15 pages

I'm dying to finish all of them..at the same time I feel so uninspired.

Hey inspirations and motivations, please come back to me, baby!

I've been more drawn to you lately, like a magnet? Hell yeah.I don't wan't to be portrayed as clingy, but you said you like it that way. and I'm glad you do. Good luck, sayang.

I miss home, not like before. Not like how it used to be. I wish I was there. Wait for me, home.

If only you knew.

2010-04-16T01:26:00.001+08:00

I really want to leave.........................................................

Its just too much, too much already.

2010-04-07T18:16:00.001+08:00

I have no more strength left for this,

Oh Allah, help me :'(

I know, you've been closing an eye while seeing me.

2010-04-06T02:28:00.004+08:00

They won't believe me, because I'm less beautiful. :P

BEAUTIFUL OR CONVINCING ,Maryam? :P

Do I know you anymore?

2010-04-04T18:55:00.002+08:00

............................................................................................................................................................................

A phrase: You must love someone, before you learn to hate them.

I just don't know you anymore.

Is it about me? - If it does, tell straight to my face, anytime.I'm ready, okay? :)

Or you just changed, completely?

Don't leave me hanging....wondering, blurry.

I'm sorry, everyone.I'm really am.

................. end this, please?

Crossing lines.

2010-04-03T16:06:00.002+08:00

And, I hate that expression on your face.As if, you're the only one, the best amongst all.

Kindness, can be the most powerful evil power.Once you're in it, you might forget who you are, you can be the person you hate, turning yourself to another form, forget the earth, lets float.

Freak

2010-03-09T19:46:00.003+08:00

Honey,

What makes you change this much?

Or did I annoyed you?

This is my new addiction, my master piece, been able to keep me busy these days.

An Ice Cream lamp, made from recyclable stuffs. Baby, even though you're new.. you're special to me. I love you. Even though some how we will be in distant, I will always remember you :P

The person I wish I was

2010-03-07T02:44:00.004+08:00

To be by your side everyday. Sits in the same class

Being able to see your charming, good-looking face.

Revise subjects together.

Help me when I'm stuck in finding solutions

The Great Escape - :)

To go to that expo held in UITM with you!

and the dinner :(

I miss the good old times we had together.

I LOVE YOU. :(

1024 days with you.

This ain't a fairytale.

2010-02-27T00:25:00.003+08:00

I don't know why, I just hate you in every way. There's so much to disagree at, so much to criticize on. No excitement. Less passion. Am I that bore to you?

DULL. *sigh*

240210- Lost the reflex to resist

2010-02-25T11:49:00.002+08:00

Reasons to smile :)

Pointless,

2010-02-23T18:55:00.002+08:00

Came back from hiding, been M.I.A for too long. Intact, the blog is. The only thing I've changed was the layout. Weird, funny, whatever I maybe look like, thats me. Haha okay maybe just a little editing on the picture, that makes me looked weird? Oh, I've always been one. :)

It is all in a total-messed-up feelings I have right now, homesick, words that I missed out when I really, really need to say it out loud....Which shows that I'm lacking presenting skills. It proves that
no one to blame, when you're the one who is at fault.

And maybe maybe maybe, I should stop pleasing others. Its not the thought of getting back the good deeds back, which sounded so Sincere..Not! but ,what is life when the people around you never judge you fairly enough to what you've done? most would look with one eye closed, and others will never listen.

Ahh, thats a release! :)

Urgh gross.

2010-01-14T01:12:00.000+08:00

hows "HUK2x" sounds to ya?

Blergh.

Its okay,we've moved on. But please do remember to catch me when I fall will you?

2010-01-11T22:03:00.005+08:00

The day when I got annoyed by myself.

To : ME.

"Shut up your bloody talkative little mouth girl!"

From : Maryam

Barcode,

2010-01-10T02:42:00.001+08:00

http://fashionfever.tumblr.com

Haven't you heard that Pain is the in-thing to start off 2010?

2010-01-04T23:44:00.003+08:00

Okay here's the deal.
2010 is here. Another new year.
The same old me?
Well, I'd promised myself every single day to change the way I am, the way I behave each day, I used to.But damn, I'm losing the original me bit by bit. And I don't know why. I wish I could find a solution,maybe genie who resides in a bottle could help?but some may say 'stop wishing, start resolving'

2009. A crazy year. A year that changed me a lot. Oh ok I lied, a year that I've been living 2009 with a lot of changes (which I made by myself) Here's the list of what I've gained and lost:

Gained

Car license
Monthly allowance(Or maybe as a payment made by mother for being a good driver and a 'housewife')
SPM results duh!
Traumatic experience when somebody broke into the house and stole our pc away.
Fresh start- MMU. Orientation week in MMU was the best orientation week I've ever had! haha I know I probably sounded boring because I actually favour this type of activities but hey, if you never experience the June intake's orientation week, then you don't have to say a word okay :D hihihi
Friends- Wonderful ones and the one that I lost bonded with. I had great time with you guys. :)
A lot more of pain and a little space to breathe
Costochondrithis
Short term memory
Choi
Going out late night experience
Soaking in rain with beloved friends
5 KG
Controversy Issues? Remember this, my middle name is Peace.

Lost

Marie Claire's shades
4GB pendrive - pictures, memories, memories, memories. How am I supposed to spread out some experience I've made to my kids if there's no proof? PUFF!
My trust in him
Ability to breathe
Ability to remember what I did in 2008 and not forgetting the recent year itself,2009

Thats all I guess. Well, I can't list more. I have a short term memory remember?

Its a MUST, that in 2010, I, Maryam binti Harun shall improve all the flaws I've made and start to organize,organize,organize(typical?) to earn a better living in the future.

How Much Longer Do I Need To Face This?

2009-12-21T20:23:00.004+08:00

The presence of me must annoys you in any ways kan?

You are what you think you are. And this is what I think of me and you must feel the same way too.

No, I am not troubled. but ones do own their personal let down moments do they?

Damnit I don't want to stay like this.

:(

We Used To Be Strangers,

2009-12-20T02:00:00.003+08:00

Updates baby updates,

:)

So it goes like this,

It's always too early to judge. So just observe, pray and be ready with whatsoever circumstances may come.

Mistakes, were meant to be experienced gazillion times in order to get the final prize.

A nomination sent from above, http://zakimaki.blogspot.com/
Thanks. Your blog should be nominated too btw :)

Costochondritis , causes chest pain due to inflammation of the cartilage and bones in the chest wall - WORSEN.

what do you know about your other half?
Honestly, there's a lot to learn, Maryam.

We fought, and at one point we thought about things we didn't ask each other when we're about to roll.
will you accept me for who I am?
are you willing to let me be me?
will you be able to control yourself?
and I hope you are ready.

Simple. Simple question we should ask that could ease the burden of a relationship that is about to build. At most times, we didn't realised that we always go the opposite way just because we never get the chance to even accept our partner as the way they are.

We're opposite in many ways, honey. That's why we click that hard.

I love you. ;)

No Love Left To Rye

2009-12-13T12:57:00.003+08:00

Having fear of browsing through dashboard,due to a scary blog post.

and

Currently , looking for long lost friends
SK Pekan Satu, Labuan
Standard 1,1998
SK Sri Selangor
the school name have been changed, but it is near to USJ11 think so. :))
Standard 1 , 1998
SRI Hira', Klang
2A 1999
SK Sungai Layar
3A 2000
4A 2001
5A 2002
SK Sri Gedong
6B 2003
SK Kuala Ketil
6 Zuhal 2003
SMK Tanjung Puteri
1 Aktif 2004
2 Aktif 2005
3 Aktif 2006
SMK Sultanah Asma
4 Asma 2007
SMK Tunku Abdul Rahman
4 Arif 2007
5 Arif 2008

I move a lot, and not being able to stick with same friends for years is something that I regret.
I envy much to those who have childhood friends.

Tee heee :)

ordinary humble girl

2009-12-04T13:18:00.002+08:00

Mahsuri. Is she an ordinary humble girl?

whatever it is, I'm turning upside down because of her.

I love you, Mahsuri. Help me. I need you. :P

And no one knows why I’m into you

2009-11-10T02:44:00.002+08:00

Yes Lil sis',

"Lovers love and liars lie"

But there's some fact I have to face and yeah, I'm totally tired living like this.But this is life isn't it?

Searching for true love isn't easy. Well maybe it's so easy to fall in love but it's hard to find someone who will catch you.

You and me, we've been through so many things,issues and who-the-hell-knows-whats-next.

I don't want to end this, it's been so long...so so long until I can't see a future that does not include you.

And I'm proud to say that I'm in love with you again.
I LOVE YOU. && Sorry,you never been an antagonist character in my life. Its just a piece of words I put through when I'm not in a good mood. You're my hero kan? and I'm not going to be your Heroin. Fair and square,we're both heroes to each other. Deal?

It's the first of November and I've already shifted.

2009-11-01T03:00:00.002+08:00

I'm an internet user since Standard Three.No I'm not bragging. But I'm way hurt.

What do you think? You're trying to make a fool out of me?

Thanks for lying to me, TWICE. ♥

Liar Liar Ass On Fire.

No, you don’t even deserve to have your name in a crap song

2009-10-31T14:07:00.004+08:00

Thanks to you, now I'm officially hating Skype.

buhbye. You hurt me, and yes even though its over it still cuts me to the core.

You're just a fucking liar
and I just don't know what can keep me happy at the moment.

We were in love remember?

Daddy's little girl.

2009-10-28T12:00:00.002+08:00

It's THREE sides to blame.
Sorry girl, if I've done anything wrong
honestly, all of us almost gave up on you.

cheer up.

It's just a matter of time.

2009-10-25T02:39:00.002+08:00

When good thing had reached its last destination, it's time for us to depart. And say GOODBYE. I miss you a lot. Long distance relationship, I blame you!LOL xD

oh and I've met new friends, adyba,the hot one with brain and the loyal friend of luqman, azrie. HAHA u guys are wonderful! ;)

p/s : ape2 je. :P

;'(

2009-10-23T21:38:00.003+08:00

WANT TO EXPRESS JEALOUSY?

create a new myspace/email/facebook account and hide it from your girlfriend

Fullstops I guess.

Picnik and B**bs

2009-10-22T21:12:00.003+08:00

This is a no laughing matter. Support them-be there for them. Cross fingers that they'll survive somehow.

Girls, be aware and do check regularly!

♥

2009-10-21T13:22:00.002+08:00

199. IF YOU WANNA BE MY

LOVER, YOU GOTTA GET

WITH MY FRIENDS. NO, NOT

SEXUALLY. WHY ARE

YOU SUCH A PERVERT?

http://gotwisdom.tumblr.com/

2 Years And Counting

2009-10-15T15:30:00.001+08:00

And I'm still enjoying it.

Sometimes , things happen for gazillion reasons.
Sorry to anyone involved.

Walking

2009-10-12T23:21:00.003+08:00

LIFE :

Why can't I be with a good guy and be with friends who keeps me happy at the same time?

Unfair much? ;'(

Celebrations,Liar,Secrets,Love Matters,Trimester Breaks,Sleepover and Solitary.

2009-10-06T13:58:00.004+08:00

Celebrations

30 September 2009.
A-Not-So-Surprise party,I could figure out that easy. ( You can't trick such a stalker like me)
Cake Fight, first time ever I did the cake fight which is I know, membazir but hey, once in a lifetime chances , who could resist? :)

Sweetest gift ever (139 wishes on post-it-note papers,a necklace,bracelet,a teddy bear with partners,shoes and a ring) Thanks! >.<

I told you, I found the best of friends, and its true.
Haih, I miss them so much. Being apart makes me about to cry.
I wonder how it'll change soon. I own them in a special place in my heart , even with less contact which I'm basically a person who doesn't show that much, less contact doesn't mean you're forgotten. I've been telling this to every single special person I've met. So deal with it okay hunnay?

Liar , Secrets , Love Matters.

A liar being caught red-handed , I'm sure you know who you are. Why lie about something so serious? You have your own parents don't you? You're funny,yes you are. HAHA!

LOVE?pfthh doesn't sound so good recently, leave it all behind and start a new page.

Trimester Break,
a week break before new trimester starts. Sound pathetic?

Cleared up things between him, wind up ,The Sims, Singstar ,Sleepover at Ummi's - What a cute house! - quoted by Qistina Amira.

Yes , I'm currently alone.Being eighteen sucks, Thankyou.

Good Luck dear sis ,H U D A Harun with yr PMR thingy, :p

I'm mean sis , you have to agree with it and keep /m/

Hey Dolls!

2009-09-29T17:41:00.006+08:00

Headache attacks me a day before my historical day. Day that I was born, or it should be a date. A Date To Remember? Well,last year my family didn't wish me even though some of the few members know it was the day. But,everybody was busy cooking,preparing for the 1st day of raya.The event was forgotten and left by just like that, but its not that I really care because oh boy, I'm not that legend anyway. HAHAHA

30 September 2009. I'm in MMU, away from my family. And this is the first time I could celebrate it with friends. But the thing is, there just so many things that avoiding me from celebrating it. >.< Firstly,I'm having a bad headache.PMS? Secondly it is because a total breakdown, all of sudden I feel very sad,and I don't know what makes me. I can't find the source. I'm confused. Don't ask me why.

This week is a crucial week ever with final exams going on.And I can't really concentrate on it. Consultations suddenly ditching me,is not a part of me anymore, which is I'm getting suck on it. Dear friend,I'm sorry I didn't mean to say cold words to you,which is not helping but to be true,nobody used to be in my dictionary and I believe somehow the person to come to us only when they needed help doesn't mean that they're bad and just using us. Keep that in mind. It may be a good start in a friendship. Don't you ever feel hurt about that,it takes some time to know each other. Don't you ever give up.If it is destined to be that way,then be patience to wait for it.Something good might happen to a person who waits. Happiness doesn't come that instant,my dear friend.Oh correction, TRUE HAPPINESS <3.

I think I've finally found the best of friend.The one that always straighten up to me with my grammar and pronunciation mistakes.I've found what I've been looking for. I'm not searching for one except for more knowledge HE is going to give me.
Dear Allah, armed me with a stronger faith in you,forgive me for every seconds that I tend to forget your existence.Protect my dear family and friends,my mighty Allah.

amin.

Remembering You suddenly makes me burst in tears. Alhamdullilah.

Breakdown.

2009-09-28T20:01:00.002+08:00

I MISS YOU!!!!!!

and I feel like crying hell lot!

I NEED YOU.
Not just words.

I WANT YOU!

haha suddenly I start smiling :)